Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ugly people sure do ruin things
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize