hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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