The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
