Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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