why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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