i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
