i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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