I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
