So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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