sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
