i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize