Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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