I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
