This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
