Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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