me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
