Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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