So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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