i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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