Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
where are you?
Hypothermia
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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