so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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