Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
