Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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