Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
love makes seman taste better
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Holy shit dude........stairs