That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
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She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
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he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.