Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID