The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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