"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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