It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
