Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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