who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
