I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
