He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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