I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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