is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.