doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
