Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Randomize
Follow @tfln