Texts From Last Night

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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!

  (1-903): View more from Texas

  What does that even mean?

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  (903): I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude! (1-903): What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/qhna
  Replies (30) Good night (1305) Bad night (5199)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.

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  (971): I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger. http://tfl.nu/97wz
  Replies (27) Good night (4208) Bad night (3784)
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  (323): View more from California

  She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.

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  (323): She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine. http://tfl.nu/16u8
  Replies (4) Good night (1955) Bad night (1220)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.

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  (859): Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss. http://tfl.nu/wyge
  Replies (12) Good night (4384) Bad night (1134)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am

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  (773): despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am http://tfl.nu/0kp9
  Replies (1) Good night (1274) Bad night (684)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.

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  (616): Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/i5nq
  Replies (9) Good night (1460) Bad night (739)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date

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  (402): As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date http://tfl.nu/07k6
  Replies (8) Good night (452) Bad night (2062)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE

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  (905): STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE http://tfl.nu/i9p4
  Replies (6) Good night (714) Bad night (938)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.

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  (410): Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii. http://tfl.nu/nmvv
  Replies (6) Good night (2210) Bad night (560)
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  (315): View more from New York

  After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.

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  (315): After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was. http://tfl.nu/s812
  Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (611)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  No.

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  (314): I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha (1-314): No. http://tfl.nu/xsjk
  Replies (4) Good night (686) Bad night (534)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.

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  (717): I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets. http://tfl.nu/qvke
  Replies (9) Good night (1858) Bad night (503)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days

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  (651): You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days http://tfl.nu/dsf3
  Replies (4) Good night (679) Bad night (491)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.

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  (215): Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it. http://tfl.nu/dtmi
  Replies (4) Good night (355) Bad night (635)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency

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  (905): I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency http://tfl.nu/kfxd
  Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (932)

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