i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
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If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way