Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)

(540): View more from Virginia

awesome babe! drinks tonight!

(703): View more from Virginia

Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.

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(703): Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :) (540): awesome babe! drinks tonight! (703): Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck. http://tfl.nu/zccd

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(209): View more from California

Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.

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(209): Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy. http://tfl.nu/mqdd

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(209): View more from California

kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.

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(209): kindergarten is hard when you're hung over. http://tfl.nu/68v6

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(309): View more from Illinois

I learned to sign I want to be on you today

(1-309): View more from Illinois

Score

(309): View more from Illinois

Deaf chicks here I come

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(309): I learned to sign I want to be on you today (1-309): Score (309): Deaf chicks here I come http://tfl.nu/h0zi

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?

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(412): Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+? http://tfl.nu/fsug

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(915): View more from Texas

Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"

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(915): Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches" http://tfl.nu/07la

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(425): View more from Washington

oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

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(425): oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog http://tfl.nu/rz7h

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(915): View more from Texas

You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs

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(915): You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs http://tfl.nu/qhlh

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet

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(507): Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet http://tfl.nu/981y

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(604): View more from British Columbia

We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.

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(604): We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy. http://tfl.nu/wtyc

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!

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(+44): He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again! http://tfl.nu/ztd6

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(620): View more from Kansas

Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.

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(620): Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day. http://tfl.nu/8ts7

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(917): View more from New York City

SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH

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(917): SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH http://tfl.nu/uo9d

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(479): View more from Arkansas

fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants

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(479): fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants http://tfl.nu/pys2

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.

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(215): Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you. http://tfl.nu/su7n

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