im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.