She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
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he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist