I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
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I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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