i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
