I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
