Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Let's paint friendship bongs
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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