Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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