Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just want to make out with him forever
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
