Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize