Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
