then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
