i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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