You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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