My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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