now i know why i became what i already was.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
