k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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