my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
