Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
3pm strippers are depressing
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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