If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
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i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
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His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize