Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
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Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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