When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
