the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
