just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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