AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
