i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
