He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
